A Napkin For All Seasons

Foxy Grandpa struts their stuff at Midway Cafe on Sunday, 9 April 2023.

Ziggy Moon, Supermarket Parking Lot, and Sophie’s Body close out the matinee show.

Who speaks on behalf of the beverage napkin? Hump Day News, lending a voice to the voiceless.

The thin 5”x5” paper squares can be found at most bars. Their ostensible function is to serve as an intermediary between the bottom of your beverage and some fine surface you don’t want sullied by moisture.

In a pinch, beverage napkins (or ‘bev naps,’ or ‘cocktail napkins’) can handle light cleanup work, if you need to mop up a small spill or fix your makeup.

Most customers and beverage service workers prefer the ubiquitous cardboard coasters for mounting a drink. Mostly because the heavier stock has enough weight not to cling to the bottom of your drink. A little moisture can turn a beverage napkin into a kind of adhesive, a nuisance on par with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

Plus, cardboard coasters can be mounted on the top of your glass in order to communicate to all the world that you’d *rather not* be roofied six ways to Sunday while you step out for a smoke.

Plus, branded cardboard coasters come free, courtesy of whoever is advertising on their little square billboard.

If beverage napkins have been displaced in terms of their primary function, why can they still be found at bars? Hard to say. Why do ostriches still have wings? Sometimes cultural norms just get carried along through the years like a leaf in a stream.

People expect bars to stock beverage napkins. Bars want to meet people’s expectations.

The napkins may not serve their primary function any longer, but they still have so many uses. People can be gross, gooey, wet, and wild. Especially at bars. You need a little towelette on hand to discreetly handle the messes.

Beverage napkins are the cheapest solution and businesses love cheap solutions. It’s the best we’ve got until the ‘kerchief in the breast pocket makes a comeback.

Foxy Grandpa

The three-piece Foxy Grandpa served up whimsical roadhouse rock with a little southern swing and shuffle. The southern-adjacent bits alternated with noisier punk strummers. The band played instrument switcheroo throughout the set. Shades of Natural Child. Extra points for vocal harmonies.

Ziggy Moon

Jazz/rock fusion with a big band sound. Ziggy Moon brought six players on stage for a mix of covers and originals. Shout out to some sweet twinkling stardust coming off the keys. Shades of a jazzified Reverie.

Supermarket Parking Lot

Supermarket Parking Lot has been gigging around town of late. Hump Day News caught them the other week at a glitterati flash fest at State Park Bar.

The local five-piece opened with a number called “Forest Fires.” The song was based on a dream, presumably about forest fires. The band was sending out Eurovision vibes, but it was hard to tell from which country.

The set included a mix of rock n roll originals and covers, including Radiohead’s “You.”

The performance was punctuated by the announcement of a new Bandcamp page, home to uploads of a selection of their live gigs.

Sophie’s Body

Sophie’s Body closed out the matinee show with a mix of vocals-forward rock ballads. The four-piece played a number that was either written about someone’s dad, or written by someone’s dad, or some such combination of ‘dad’ and ‘songwriting.’

It kind of makes you wonder what a screenplay mashup of Sophie’s Choice and Jennifer’s Body would look like. It’d probably be a bigger mess than any beverage napkin could handle.